For people who know me, they will chuckle and roll their eyes if they hear me describing myself as being quiet and stranger- shy and this had been proven true in many occasions when I say that to people that I just meet. Most people know me as the girl who could not stop her mouth from spitting out words and delights in all kinds of gossip. However, this girl people know as LinHui was not always the way she is now. I grew up avoiding situations which requires me to speak or converse with a stranger either through the phone or face to face and when given no other option, I will do it with my heart beating and hands shaking at the speed of light. Probably due to the lack of interaction with people, other than my family members, and hence the uncertainty as to how I should behave, I find it difficult to break the ice with strangers and open up to them easily.
Each time I had to meet someone new, especially a big group of new people, I would worry about how things will turn out and I certainly do not like that feeling. Slowly, I tried to meet small groups of people to get myself comfortable with such situations. Luckily for me, such encounters always have a way of finding me as well. Sales, customer services or reception jobs are always given to me and I had to admit that they trained me to be able to communicate with people better. I had to be honest, the pay was an incentive for me to accept the jobs. Over the years, I trained myself to shy less from such encounters and to make it less awkward for me.
Reflecting on how things were when I was younger, I did not think that I was not able to communicate with people. I guess everyone is able to communicate with another party. It is the extent that they can communicate themselves. When I started primary school, I was not able to speak English at all, had a limited dictionary of vocabulary, if the limited amount even permits the use of the dictionary, and bad grammer. As a result of that and my shy character, I did not talk to any classmates who were more comfortable with speaking English at all.I am sure that I would be able to talk to people,but they might not be able to understand what I am trying to say entirely.True to what Brad said in class, I had to put in a lot of hard work to overcome this problem I have. I started speaking more English, deliberately doing things that I would normally avoid, and taking ES2007S. I hate interview and dislike public speaking even more. However, I cannot be avoiding them forever. Taking ES2007S is a way to ‘force’ myself to do them, hopefully becoming comfortable with them, and to communicate effectively in different scenerios.
Right now, there are occasions when I will still avoid talking to strangers, but that is when I want to hide in my little space and enjoy my personal time with me, myself and I, not so much about the shyness anymore. :)
UCS1001 S21 Tri1 2024-25
3 weeks ago
I realised a lot of people feel that they are not good at interacting with others when they are younger. They usually learn along the way to becoming more comfortable with speaking to strangers.
ReplyDeleteI feel that most people find it hard to talk to strangers because they find themselves boring. There was this audio that I have listened to once and the guy said that if you feel that your life is exciting, you will have more to share. Similarly, I think as you grew up you had more experiences to tell others. Now you even wakeboard. I am sure you have a lot of stories to share with so much going on for you.
This also ties in well with something about knowing and changing yourself as the initial steps to becoming a better communicator.
I too had a problem trying to open my mouth and make friends with strangers. But ever since coming to university, especially during tutorials whereby I do not have friends taking the same tutorials with me or even during lab sessions, I must say it really has made me open up more to strangers as I slowly get to know them and initiate conversations. This way, there was more fun and joy in learning together rather than doing everything by yourself. This has taught me that interactions with others is very important and in life, we cannot go through it all alone without any friends and help along the way.
ReplyDeleteTo sum it up, as John Donne aptly puts it, "No man is an island entire to himself...".
Hi Lin Hui!
ReplyDeleteI don't think you are shy! I find it hard to imagine how you were like in primary school. I also experience the same thing where you describe that there are times where you like to withdraw from others, hiding in your little space and enjoying your personal time! I totally can understand how you feel.I feel that our personality does affect whether we are good speaker to a certain extent. People who are generally outspoken and sociable are better at presenting. Shy people will need to put in extra more effort in their public speaking. However, I feel that BOTH types of personality are able to be effective communicators and presenters.
Like what you said,taking this module will force us to move out of our comfort zone and do the things that we dislike, for example public speaking!
Public speaking is something that we can't avoid. I believe that the more we do it and when we apply the correct skills and techniques, the better we are! So lets work together towards a better communicator and public speaker! :D
Yes! I have the same issues too! )): When I was younger I didn't really like to talk to people too! I don't really like the idea of having the focus to be on me.I feel that communication is a skill that not everyone is born with. Some people are just more outspoken and more confident about themselves while others are happier staying within their comfort zones. But I'm sure practise and pick up this skill eventually! Let's work on it together! (: I'm friendly! Talk to me! (:
ReplyDeleteDear Linhui,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the honest reflection. You focus your response very specifically on your needs, which is good. It's clear that you are honest with yourself, too. You've obviously done a good job of overcoming your shyness because you don't seem shy now. There are a few lingering language problems apparent in your writing though. One is just that you seem to write as you would speak. Remember, when you write you need to be patient and manage your sentences more.
Here are a few other areas that need reflection:
1)structure: if they hear me describing myself as being quiet and stranger- shy and this had been proven true >>> if they hear me describing myself as being quiet, and more strangely,shy. This has been proven true....
2) verb tense: I grew up avoiding situations which requires me to speak >>> I grew up avoiding situations which required me to speak
3) verb tense: I will do it >>> I would do it
4) still? verb tense: I find it difficult >>> I found it
5) I would worry about how things will turn out and I certainly do not like that feeling. >>> I would worry about how things would/might turn out. I certainly do not like that... feeling.
That's not all. Your verb tense in the telling of the story -- since that story is in the past -- needs to be past tense.
I appreciate your openness though. Thanks, again!
Wow! This is the first time I hear of people having the same problem as I do when I was younger. Suddenly, I do not feel so much like a weird kid anymore.:)
ReplyDeleteThanks Brad! Writing is one of my problems as well because I do not write as much as I would like to. This is also one reason why I took up ES2007S, so please do correct me if I continue to make such mistakes. :)
Well my first impressions of you was definately not shy and strange. In fact, I admired your abiltiy to speak to our TAs and fellow lab group mates with such ease. I think I can relate to your fear of public speaking. My hands actually turn cold and I start shivering badly.
ReplyDeleteHi Lin Hui,
ReplyDeleteMy first impression for you is the same as Geraldine. When I read your post, I felt like reading a poem! No wonder we are taking ES2007s since it is common among us to be afraid of public speaking. Hope we all can work out together to cure public/stranger speaking phobia!